When we’re feeling overwhelmed, our natural reaction is to make sense of it or to find immediate relief. However, certain common coping strategies often end up making things worse rather than better. In my clinical practice, I frequently see clients unknowingly add to their stress by trying to tackle their emotions in ways that actually amplify the overwhelm rather than ease it. This article explores five common mistakes people make when they’re overwhelmed and what to do instead to support a calmer, more effective response.
1. Trying to Find the Deeper Meaning Behind Your Feelings
Mistake: When overwhelmed, it’s tempting to analyze why it’s happening—wondering if the universe is somehow sending you a message, or if there’s a deeper meaning behind the discomfort. But overthinking often makes anxiety worse. Feeling overwhelmed is not the right moment to dig for answers to big questions.
What to do instead: Prioritize emotional regulation. Trying to find meaning when you’re in distress taps into the reflective part of your brain, which is less accessible when anxiety is high. As I remind my clients, “the why can come later.” Start by grounding yourself through deep breathing, physical movement, or sensory awareness. Once your emotions have settled, you’ll be in a better state of mind to reflect calmly.
2. Rushing to Make Decisions in the Heat of the Moment
Mistake: Anxiety often creates a sense of urgency, making it feel as though decisions need to be made quickly to resolve everything immediately. But this rush is more about adrenaline than actual need, and impulsive choices can lead to mistakes.
What to do instead: Recognize that this urgency is likely anxiety-driven. Pause, and hold off on any major decisions until you feel more grounded. Once you’re calm, reassess whether the action you wanted to take still feels authentic. This pause reduces the risk of mistakes and allows you to make choices with a clearer mind.
3. Trying to Explain Yourself to Others When You’re Not Ready
Mistake: When overwhelmed, you might feel compelled to explain your feelings to others, especially if they seem to misunderstand your needs. However, attempting to justify your emotions while in distress can add stress rather than providing relief.
What to do instead: If you have supportive people around, consider simply asking for specific help, such as a quiet space, a calming presence, or gentle distraction. If someone doesn’t understand, set a boundary: let them know you’ll explain once you’re feeling more stable. Communicating clearly about what you need in the moment—and focusing on self-care first—can help avoid unnecessary stress.
4. Blaming Others for How You’re Feeling
Mistake: It’s easy to blame feelings of frustration or anxiety on others, especially if it seems they triggered your distress. While venting or blaming may bring temporary relief, it often amplifies your emotions and keeps you from addressing the root cause of the overwhelm.
What to do instead: Take ownership of your feelings. Instead of dwelling on what others did, acknowledge the desire to blame and try to sit with your emotions. Use grounding techniques like deep breathing to regain control. Once calm, you can explore what specifically triggered you and how to manage it more constructively. Shifting from blame to self-reflection empowers you to build resilience and handle future challenges more effectively.
5. Flooding Yourself with Information or Self-Help Advice
Mistake: When feeling overwhelmed, you might seek immediate relief by bingeing on self-help resources or advice. This “solution-seeking” habit can lead to information overload, ultimately increasing stress rather than relieving it.
What to do instead: Rather than flooding yourself with new information, pause and use a grounding technique you already know and trust. Take a step back from screens, breathe deeply, or go for a walk. Once you feel more at ease, you’ll be in a better place to absorb helpful insights. Grounding first allows you to process information more calmly and effectively. It’s also perfectly okay to lean into the uncertainty and give yourself time to discover what you truly need to get through this. In today’s world, it’s easy to find advice or insights everywhere, but ultimately, you know yourself best. If you’re feeling disconnected from that inner guidance, consider seeking support from a professional who can help you reconnect with yourself and regain trust in your instincts. The most valuable insights come from within.
Learning to recognize and replace these common mistakes with grounding practices can make a significant difference in how you handle intense emotions. When you focus on calming your body and mind first, rather than rushing into decisions or solutions, you develop resilience and approach challenges with greater clarity and balance.
If you find yourself struggling with emotional regulation, anxiety, burnout, depression, or trauma, please don’t hesitate to reach out. Together, we can work on building skills to help you feel more centered and empowered in your life.