Summer is just around the corner, and the interesting thing about summer is that it’s associated with fun, with peace, with an idealised time when all problems disappear and everyone suddenly lives “their best life”. While I’m a strong advocate of having a positive summer, the reality is that many people struggle with their mental health during the summer. Some are more aware of it than others, others sink into shame and wonder if they’re the only ones suffering since everyone else seems to be having the time of their lives, and some may not realise the negative impact their summer lifestyle is having on their mental health until it hits them in September.
This article highlights the primary reasons why people struggle during the summer, including the mistakes you may be making that worsen your mental health, and what you can do to prevent them from happening. Contact me if you need help with any of the issues below: [email protected]
Unrealistic expectations
The combination of the media’s image of summer (and, for some, nostalgia for the summer days of childhood) and the unrealistic expectation that the sun will eliminate all of life’s challenges can really set people up for disappointment. Summer can be many things, but it’s not a parenthesis in life. If you have unrealistic expectations about your summer, you’re likely to be disappointed when you realize that your summer doesn’t look like what you saw online or in magazines, nor is it 100% extraordinary all the time.
This disappointment can be accompanied by other emotions and take over your experience of summer days. It’s important to have realistic expectations: summer is a time of year, so don’t associate your moods with the weather, or you’ll find yourself in a very fragile situation. What about when the summer rain arrives?
Some people also expect to feel certain kinds of emotions during the summer simply because it’s that time of year: in this way, they relieve themselves of the responsibility of steering their inner emotional world. Unfortunately, that’s not how it works. You are the master of your internal emotions and experiences, not the external environment.
What to do about it:Grab a pen and paper and write down everything you associate with summer. What are your expectations and are they realistic? What expectations do you have that don’t need to be associated with summer, and why don’t you meet them outside the summer months? Try to see what your expectations are and whether you can reframe some of them. Or reflect on your previous summers: did you have unrealistic expectations? is this a pattern? what’s causing it and how can you put a stop to it?
Sleep deprivation, lack of routine and overstimulation
Summer is synonymous with light, and therefore with commitments and social projects. Fun as it may be, what you don’t realise is that you can accidentally fall short of rest. Regardless of whether there’s sunshine, tons of events to organise and fun to be had, your body still needs adequate sleep, it still needs less arousing activities. Being sleep-deprived from time to time is one thing, but if your social calendar is overloaded, you’re persistently sleep-deprived and you find yourself in noisy places, this will have an impact on your mood and stress levels. You may not realise it at first, but you’ll gradually become more irritable, your moods more irregular and intense, your concentration poorer and your ability to make decisions diminished too.
What to do about it: Try not to overload your social agenda, and plan for quiet moments. Don’t forget to take time for yourself (whatever that means to you) and pay attention to your sleep. Make regular sleep a priority. To avoid overloading yourself, tell people “I’ll check my diary and get back to you” when they ask you out, instead of saying yes in the heat of the moment and then realizing you’ve overbooked yourself. Take the time to decide where your energy goes, and pay attention to how you spend your time as well as the manner in which you spend it. Check your diary first, then make a decision, ensuring that things are balanced.
No more impulsive, thoughtless “yes” to anyone who asks you out just because the weather’s nice. Try to keep a certain consistency in your schedule, because your body doesn’t do well when there’s no routine. So, even if you’re on vacation, try to have something familiar ( even if it’s just having coffee/tea at the same time every day).
Dehydration and increased consumption of sugar/alcohol
The combination of increased heat and more social engagements means that many people suddenly increase their intake of sugar and alcohol, and may not be drinking enough water. In any case, many people don’t drink enough water throughout the year, and this is even more important in summer. Dehydration is associated with increased stress in the body, increased irritability and anxiety, reduced concentration and cognitive functioning, as well as low mood and fatigue. If, on top of this, there’s an increase in sugar (because you’re suddenly drinking more sugary drinks or smoothies), you also increase the risk of depressive symptoms, anxiety, major mood swings, and it can even have an impact on your decision-making ability and cognitive flexibility (meaning you’re less creative and more rigid in your thinking!).
What to do about it: Don’t worry, there’s no need to diet or monitor your blood sugar levels all summer long. Just focus on your 2 liters of water a day and try to be a little more mindful of the beverage choices you make when you are going out. Be mindful of the above information too: as soon as you start to feel poorly, take this as a potential sign that you may need to take a break from alcohol or sugar consumption, if it has indeed increased.
Social comparisons & Social media exposure
Many of us find it hard enough NOT to compare our lives with others online, but in summer it’s even worse, as everyone posts their summer. For many people, this can make them feel inadequate if they’re not vacationing in the Bahamas, Bali or Italy, and for others, it’s even worse if they’re working. Yes, many people work during the summer. Not everyone has the luxury of a vacation, especially in the current economic crisis. So, not only does everyone look like they’re at the beach on a Tuesday afternoon online, but they also look incredibly happy all the time, which can create unnecessary doubts about everyone’s life, simply because a) they don’t feel that happy even when they’re on vacation or/and b) if they’re not on vacation at all or c) if their vacation doesn’t correspond to a 5-star luxury hotel in the Maldives. What’s more, people compare their bodies to one another, which can create unnecessary stress. So, whatever you do this summer, be mindful of your exposure to social media and how you relate to it. Does it affect you badly? Do you feel a certain way after seeing posts on IG?
What to do about it: Reduce your exposure to social media and keep in mind that not everyone has the summer of their dreams. In fact, many people struggle during the summer for a variety of reasons that simply aren’t talked about enough. You can also mute certain accounts or simply unfollow certain things that don’t bring you any good. You can also take the opportunity to reflect: what do we envy in other people’s lives? can we deconstruct that and try to work towards a new goal? Sometimes, when we envy something in others, we forget that we can build up to what we want too. That envy or jealousy you may feel about what you see online, what exactly is it about? Is it about unrealistic standards that you desire OR is it actually an unmet need that’s revealing itself?
Financial stress & Complex family dynamics
Let’s talk money and family. It’s not always easy. First of all, many parents agree that, while family vacations can bring many positive experiences, they aren’t necessarily considered vacations for parents. When it comes to organization, some people run into disagreements over financial aspects (one partner wanting to spend more than the other, etc.), the potential disappointment of not being able to afford the vacation they wanted for themselves and/or their children, couples facing relationship issues while on vacation and having to deal with them with other family members around, and so on. There are tons of scenarios that involve money and complex family/couple issues that can arise during the summer. For some people, it’s very difficult to navigate, and I’m here to remind you that it’s okay. No one is alone in this situation, even if others don’t talk about it.
What to do about it: You must continue to assume your responsibilities even in summer. Our responsibilities and obligations don’t just stop because of the sun. Taking some time off is one thing, but using summer as a form of denial to avoid dealing with financial or relationship stressors can only make things worse in the long run. Try to appreciate what you have instead of self-criticising your current situation, and learn to be present in your relationship even if it’s not perfect and do your best to try to work things out, even if it’s summer. All you can do if you’re faced with family members who don’t really click with you is to set clear boundaries and be proactive in setting and reaffirming them.
Neglecting self-care and poor time management
People forget their self-care during summer months due to being overly busy and over booked with fun things in the diary and trying to balance this out with work commitments for instance. Neglecting self-care (or relying on a vacation to do the self-care for us) is not going to have a good impact on your mental health.
Additionally, managing mental health problems can be difficult during the summer. People suffering from social anxiety may find it more difficult because of the number of social engagements they now have to cope with. People with a tendency to please others have to set themselves more limits as they have more situations to say no to. People recovering from addiction may also find it difficult, as everyone asks them why they don’t drink and smoke when they go out. People suffering from seasonal depression (yes, that exists in summer too) may also be faced with isolation and not know how to explain it to others. Some people may be heartbroken and a few nights in Ibiza won’t fix that. People with eating disorders or eating distortions may have to deal with bigger triggers because diet culture is in full swing during the summer months, and so on.
What I mean is, it can be hard to keep working on your mental health and self-care when the external environment leaves no room for anything that isn’t “positive”. Who taught us that summer was associated with toxic positivity? No, you have the right to be unwell even when the sun is out, and you must continue to take care of your emotional well-being, whether in summer or at any other time of the year. Whether you like it or not, you may need to pay more attention to your stressors throughout the summer and take better care of yourself if you know there are more triggers for you to deal with. This means you can’t stop taking care of yourself for the sake of summer fun.
What do to about it: Watch out for your time-management skills. Try to distance yourself from anything that’s toxic positivity or tells you to just be grateful for the good times. Try to externalise your emotions and thoughts by keeping a journal, doing activities that help you get in touch with your emotions and practice emotional regulation techniques. Keep working on yourself, get therapy if you can and do your best to improve your self-care routine to make sure you’re okay.
The ‘not good enough’ syndrome
Many people face this problem during the summer: either because they feel obliged to ALWAYS do something “fun” or “active”, or because they feel they don’t adhere to beauty standards, or because they feel they haven’t managed to “get the summer body” and haven’t achieved their fitness goals on time, or because they feel they don’t earn enough money and can’t provide for their partner or children to the extent they’d like, or because they feel they can’t maintain the image of the “ badass corporate woman or man”, or because they don’t feel they’re successful enough, don’t wear the right clothes or have the right lifestyle, or wonder why they don’t get invited to the hottest events or vacation spots, etc. During the summer, people put enormous pressure on their situation and appearance. There are so many factors contributing to people feeling insecure, and this can be very damaging to their mental health.
What to do about it: Ask yourself this: Who are you trying to be good enough for? And why? How can you try to be more compassionate about yourself instead of self-critical?
Summary
To maintain your mental health during the summer, take the following steps:
- Keep caring for your mental health
- Keep hydrated and don’t increase alcohol intake
- Make sleep quality and keeping some consistency a priority
- Be mindful of your insecurities and specific summer time related triggers
- Do not compare yourself with others
- Minimise social media exposure
- Remain accountable for your emotions and your responsibilities
- Do not overwhelm yourself with too many social engagements
- Be mindful of where your energy goes
- Work to improve your relationships with others and your self-esteem