Crying is a natural emotional reaction, but when tears are uncontrollable, you may feel worried and confused. This type of crying can often indicate that something deeper is going on. Here are five psychological reasons for uncontrollable crying and tips on what to do to start helping yourself.
1. Repressed emotions eventually rise to the surface
When emotions are repressed or ignored for too long, they don’t simply disappear. They tend to build up over time and intensify until they manifest themselves in intense forms, such as uncontrollable tears. Your body may be using crying to force you to pay attention to unresolved emotional pain. If you’ve been repressing sadness, frustration or pain, this sudden flood of emotions could be your body’s way of telling you to stop running away and start facing these feelings.
Tip to manage: Instead of panicking over uncontrollable tears, see them as a sign that you’re carrying heavy emotions that have been there for so long you don’t even know what they are anymore, and engage in journaling to try to reconnect with that part of yourself that’s obviously hurt. Journaling can be a powerful tool for accessing repressed emotions and facilitating emotional release. By writing down our thoughts and feelings, we create a safe space to explore emotions that may be buried or difficult to express. The act of writing encourages self-reflection and helps us identify patterns, triggers and unresolved issues that might otherwise remain hidden. Engaging in this process, journaling can bring unconscious feelings to the surface, bringing clarity and relief. In time, it can act as a therapeutic outlet, allowing us to process and release repressed emotions in a structured, non-judgmental way.
2. Exhaustion and burnout
Exhaustion caused by overwork, lack of sleep or excessive caregiving can lead to burnout, which often manifests itself in emotional outbursts such as crying. Exhaustion leaves your body and mind drained, making it difficult to regulate your emotions. If you’ve been sleeping poorly or feeling fatigued for weeks or months, take uncontrollable crying as a signal that you may have hit a wall.
Tip to manage:
You need to prioritise sleep and rest in the coming weeks and focus on improving your sleep quality. Consider saying no to more social events, delegating tasks where possible, and maintaining a consistent wake-up time to avoid chaotic sleep patterns. Avoid alcohol, as it disrupts sleep quality, and incorporate calming evening routines like mindfulness or reading in bed, both of which help relax the body and mind for better rest.
3. Overwhelming stress
Chronic stress can make your nervous system hypersensitive, leading to emotional outbursts. When stress reaches a tipping point, it overwhelms your body’s ability to cope, leading to crying. If you’ve been under stress recently, take some time to think about how you’re dealing with it. Are you giving yourself enough time to relax, recharge and process your emotions? Uncontrolled crying may be a sign that changes are needed in your daily routine to better address stress before it gets any worse.
Tip to manage: Coping with stress starts with small, intentional changes throughout the day, so it’s essential to revisit the fundamentals: sleep, nutrition, hydration, movement and boundaries. Ask yourself: Do you need better sleep habits? Are you eating balanced, nutritious meals? Are you stress eating? Are you restricting? Are you hydrating and moving enough? Then consider your boundaries: are you stretching yourself too thin, or absorbing stress from others? By thinking about these questions and addressing them one by one, through small changes such as deep breathing, regular movement or setting clear boundaries, you’ll create a foundation for stress management and overall well-being.
4. Unprocessed grief
Grief can sometimes remain hidden, only to resurface years after a loss. Whether it’s the death of a loved one or another significant life event, unprocessed grief can emerge unexpectedly, sometimes in the form of uncontrollable crying. If you find yourself crying without understanding the reason, consider the possibility that a past loss is resurfacing. Grief doesn’t go away overnight; it needs to be felt and dealt with, however long it may take.
Tip to manage: Sometimes it’s about accepting that we’ll always have to carry some of this grief with us throughout our lives, and then making a place for it in our lives to avoid random, uncontrollable outbursts that “come out of nowhere” and impact on our daily lives. Set aside time in your diary to feel your feelings of grief: write them down and let them out in whatever way suits you best (through dance, art, etc. – the choice is yours), feel your emotions in your body. They cannot harm you. The only way is through the emotion. If this is too difficult alone, consider the support of a healthcare professional.
5. Trauma and emotional dysregulation
Uncontrollable crying can also be the result of unresolved trauma. Emotional dysregulation is a common feature of trauma, making emotions feel much bigger and more unmanageable. Crying can be your body’s way of trying to evacuate repressed emotions linked to past trauma. This type of crying often feels overwhelming because the emotions linked to the trauma may be too intense to process all at once.
Tip to manage: Therapy may be needed to help regulate these intense emotional reactions.
You can prioritize working on emotional regulation practices to help your body safely manage intense emotions. The goal is to decrease the emotion’s intensity so you can embrace it without feeling out of control or scared. One way to start is by practicing breathing techniques, such as inhaling through the nose for 4 seconds, holding for 1 second, and exhaling through the mouth for 6 seconds. Try this twice a day for a minute, and then use it when you start to feel a strong emotion coming up ; but if it worsens your symptoms, stop immediately and seek professional help. Another grounding technique is focusing on your environment—notice the colors, smells, and sounds around you to bring yourself back to the present moment. Remind yourself that you are safe, and that emotions will pass.
Emotional regulation is an important part of therapeutic trauma work, as it helps you learn to feel safe in your body again. Remember that this can be more difficult for some people than others, and that some traumas make it very hard to be in your body again, so don’t judge yourself for this and don’t hesitate to talk to a professional if you are struggling. They can help you to slowly find what works for you. Once emotional regulation skills are acquired and you feel more in control and safe within your body, you can consider addressing the deeper underlying trauma in therapy.
If you’re struggling with uncontrollable crying, trauma, burnout, or anxiety, please don’t hesitate to reach out.
I have experience working with these issues and can offer support.
Feel free to email me at [email protected]